Look, it’s a Jurassic Park movie. If you go to see it, that’s on you. Crazy to have critics watch Jurassic World Rebirth and then gripe ferociously about it in long ranting reviews. This is the seventh film in the franchise, and we ought to know the drill by now.
The only thing required of these movies is that they provide a steady stream of dinosaur attacks on humans. When an attack isn’t happening, there’s a brief plot setup for the next attack. That’s the deal.
And since obviously, I’m Team Dinosaur, I tend to enjoy these sequels once I’m in the theater. I don’t avidly seek out such entertainments as Jurassic World Rebirth, but I do find that once I’m reminded of the compact we audiences have made with this franchise, I get on board again.
They’re always about how stupid, corrupt people bring dinosaurs to life again just to taunt and terrorize them in the name of theme-park amusement and/or scientific R&D. This isn’t even a far-fetched plot, since there are imminent threats to resurrect the extinct woolly mammoth. What will they do with the woolly mammoth if they ever succeed in lab-creating one? Taunt and torment the poor creature for theme-park amusement and/or scientific R&D. I hope the woolly mammoth kills every one of those fuckers.
Lest you doubt that this is the correct response built into the way these movies work, I’ll simply note that Jurassic World Rebirth features in the first sequence a dying brontosaurus that’s causing a downtown traffic jam by expiring in front of a hostile public. A character stuck in traffic says something representing the general mood of cruel indifference, like, “Just die already and get out of the way.”
If you recall from your childhood, when you were still emotionally healthy and loved dinosaurs with a passion, the brontosaurus is the sweetest dinosaur: an immense long-necked herbivore of majestic dimensions that has no violence in it and just wants to stand there…
Auteur: Eileen Jones
